Pitch-ilicious Entry

GAH, sorry I am behind putting this up. Would I be excused if I said I was up all night reading a fabulous book? Because I was. lol.

I had a REALLY hard time choosing what story I wanted to pitch, but I am going to pitch my YA urban fantasy THE SCARLETT LULLABY. It is a twist off the fairytale Sleeping Beauty.

Pitch:

Scarlett Lux feels like enough of a freak when she starts having premonitions of death, let alone learning she has light sparking from her hands. To top that off, her sort-of ex-boyfriend Mason Salvatore, prince of the Assassins, and Sebastian Andersson, a sexy guardian, can’t spend two seconds together without fighting. Scarlett really doesn’t need boy drama right now; not when the Majester is trying to kill her for her light—the power to melt the barriers between earth, heaven and hell—and everyone else has mistaken her for a missing hundred-year-old princess.

Have at it.

Can’t wait to read yours!!

Ciao ❤

Angela

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10 thoughts on “Pitch-ilicious Entry

  1. I love this pitch, Angela. 😉 I wouldn’t change much, honestly. The voice comes through nicely. I merely trimmed a tiny bit and threw in a semi-colon. Let’s see what the others have to say!

    Scarlett Lux feels like enough of a freak when she starts having premonitions of death, let alone learning she has light sparking from her hands. To top that off, her sort-of ex-boyfriend Mason Salvatore, prince of the Assassins, and Sebastian Andersson, a sexy Beskyddare, can’t spend two seconds together without fighting. Scarlett really doesn’t need boy drama right now; not when Majester stalks her for her light—the power to melt the barriers between earth, heaven and hell—and everyone else has mistaken her for a missing hundred-year-old princess.

  2. This sounds like a very good, concise pitch that gives just enough detail to entice someone to read on. It seems perfect just as it is, except for the missing periods.

  3. Great pitch. Nice pace, it isn’t bogged down with the wrong details. Plus your main character is pretty cool and I feel that. It’s so good that I’d love it even tighter: Scarlett Lux’s premonitions of death are enough to make a girl feel like a freak, but now a bizarre light is sparking from her hands. Second sentence: Beskydare means nothing to me, and, in my opinion, doesn’t add anything to the sentence. The prince of assassins is cool because I understand that, but I don’t know why I care that they can’t spend time together peaceably– give me that knowledge and I’ll care. Third sentence: what Heather said. Angela, I LOVE your story premise! Fantasy is my favorite genre and you have me hooked with your intriguing details. Awesome job.

  4. I absolutely love this one too. It shows what the story is all about, rather than tells. And I agree with D.D. Beskyddare doesn’t mean anything to me, so I’d leave that as is.
    And as JL says, I would be curious to know what the light is/does, but if it bogs the pitch down too much, I’d leave it out. There’s plenty in there already that has me hooked!

  5. First off– loving your voice! It comes through so clearly! Terrific!
    I thought the pitch was really nice, too. The only thing I’d say is maybe you could leave off the very last part of the last sentence- about the 100 year old princess. The trouble with the Majester seems like it might be enough of a hook without clogging it up.
    Other than that one tiny thing– I thought this was awesome!

  6. Yay!! I’m so glad you all liked it!!

    A Beskyddare is a a type of guardian, but not to be confused with an angel, they aren’t angels, just protectors. (it’s explained in the book) But I changed it to guardian.

    I added hundred-year-old princess because it is a twist off Sleeping Beauty

    Thanks for all your imput!

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